Chip and Dale Designs

Dear Mattel:

So, after watching some beautiful little girls open up their Christmas presents yesterday, I have come up with a few new Barbie ideas.  Now, dear readers,  know that I myself am an absolute Barbie whore. When I was a kid I had the camper, the townhouse with the elevator, the airplane and the pool. I have acquired a number of Barbies (even as an adult) but have since given most away.

I found an Amish outfit for Barbie when I was in a quilt shop in Kalona, Iowa a few years ago. I got so excited my husband had to give me a sedative to calm me down. Luckily he keeps them in his pocket for me- kind of like Tic Tacs. A dear friend had bought me a Barbie Volkswagen a few years before that, so I put Amish Barbie in the driver’s seat. She is in Rumschpringe! I had her on display at the quilt store where I worked- it just confused the delivery drivers.  They thought an 8 year old worked there.

And I do still have my Daphne Scooby Doo Barbie that I will never part with, as I wanted to be Daphne when I was a kid. Who Didn’t?? You would get a cute boyfriend not to mention get to ride around in that AWESOME van! I also have my wedding Barbie that my husband bought me on our wedding day. Insert “AWW- how sweet is that” here. And try not to throw up. Anyway, here we go-

1.      East Colfax Barbie. For those of you that are not from Colorado, East Colfax is a stretch of road that used to be known for its’ night life- if you know what I mean. East Colfax Barbie would come with thigh high hooker boots, a slutty tank top, and her own purse filled with condoms, the morning after pill and some lip balm. We would also need Pimp Ken-who would come with some fashionable gold chains, a fedora and a souped up gold Cadillac.

2.      Harley Barbie. This hip chick would come with inter-changeable tattoos, a kick ass leather jacket, some nifty bike boots and her own Harley Davidson do rag. Biker Ken would also come with inter-changeable tattoos, a leather jacket, and a t shirt with this message on the back- “If you can read this the bitch fell off”.

3.      True Blood Barbie. She would come with her own Merlotte’s outfit, and bottles of True Blood for her vampire visitors. Of course then we would need Bill and Eric- Bill would come with his own house, fit for a king, and Eric would just be naked and anatomically correct.

I may be onto something folks- and I will be disappointed if I see any of these on the shelf before my letter gets written. Now, onto my letter-

Happy Sewing!

Courtenay

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