Wednesday, May 21, 2014


                                                Ok, so maybe I am a crack whore-

The 3 things you need to know before this gets started are as follows-
1.       My son can imitate Cartman, one of the little kid characters on South Park, perfectly.



2.       Cartman is a catcher on the South Park Cow's baseball team, as was Sean on his high school  baseball team.

3.       In one episode, Cartman’s mother is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.

 
Now, on with the story.
  Several years ago we were able to spend the Christmas holiday in Pennsylvania with my family. It was the first time I had been able to do that since I left in ‘85- and it was wonderful! We were headed to NYC for a day of fun, and of course when I got up that morning I was starting to get sick. WTH?? My lovely niece then explained to me the magic of Sudafed. I was convinced I needed this magic elixir. On the way out of her small town we stopped at the local pharmacy. I proceeded to the counter to ask for “some of that there Sudafed” and handed the pharmacist my valid Colorado ID. I was excited- this was no ordinary medicine- I actually had to show my ID to get it- this was serious!



She typed something into her trusty computer, and then slowly starts looking me up and down. Did I put make up on today? Is there egg mcmuffin in my teeth?  She proceeded to hand me back my license, looked down her nose at me and told me she cannot sell me Sudafed as I had already purchased my allotment. Allotment??? I have never had the shit before!!! In Pennsylvania or Colorado! I was not amused, but since I am no longer able to carry a gun I left.  Bob also tried to purchase some and she told him the same thing. So, we had to go back to my niece’s house and get her drivers’ license so she could go in and get me my drugs. We laughed about it - A LOT-- and we decided right then I guess I really was Cartman’s mother and, without knowing it, I was the one on the cover on Crack Whore magazine!
  Fast forward to last week. I ended up with early stage shingles. I got put on a few meds, one of which was a steroid.  Now, growing up I never tried drugs. So help me, I didn’t. Hard to imagine, I know. I liked my hooch, but not drugs. I was always too chicken to try them. I am enough of an idiot without the help of enhancements. So the past few days I am noticing things. While I don’t think I am a total lazy ass, more things got done- faster! And with less sleep!  When I went in to the doctor for a follow up, I asked her which of the drugs was making me so productive. When she told me it was the steroid, I asked her how to get more. She did not think it was funny. I have no idea how I ended up with a doctor with no sense of humor.

 So, now as I am weaning off the damn steroids,  my ass ended up on the couch last night at 8pm and I proceeded to fall asleep by  9 pm. Dammit-guess I better call my contacts at the magazine and see if they could hook me up- my doctor is of no use at all!
Here are a few of the things I got done while on steroids-
Got this top done- using the Quick Curve Ruler by Sew Kind of Wonderful-

 
Made 2 pillowcases to match-

 
Got this runner done for a wedding present-pattern by Bunny Hill Designs

 
And I machine stitched binding to the front of this wedding quilt-


I also managed a quick trip to the mountains with Amber-we ate our whole way there and back. Gotta love Freddy’s Custard.  She needed a picture taken of her in the mountains- this is what I came up with-

 

Please Crack Whore Magazine- come through for me! I have many more projects lined up that need to be finished soon!

 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014



                               Ears, oh my ears

    Isn’t it funny how certain things transport us back in time immediately? For example, I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday. One of the things they did was flush my ears. I automatically started to panic when I heard what they were going to do. When I was a kid, I had many ear infections, and they hurt. So, I ended up at the doctor's office for frequent flushes. My doctor back then seemed to be 150 years old, and no bedside manner that I can recall. It was all business. When I closed my eyes in the office yesterday I could smell his office and also picture the glass jars he had filled with various torture instruments. I had to talk myself down during the whole process yesterday- grow up, you big freak, this doesn’t even hurt, etc. It did help that the little gal who was flushing them was wonderful and we joked and chatted while she was roto rooting my ears.

How I remember the doctor's office and his instruments:

 
 How my brother remembers the doctor's office:

 
    It isn’t always experiences that take me back- it can also be a conversation with someone. I was talking to one of my brothers a few weeks ago, and a few things popped into my head that I had not thought about in a long time. We started reminiscing and even more things came up. We laughed until we cried- what a great way to end a phone call! One of things that I recalled like it was yesterday was the wild dogs/mini bike episode. I must have been about 6 or 7. He had a mini bike- which I never really got to ride. So, one day he asked me to go with him to my sisters’ apartment. (Hanging out with him was awesome- he was 7 years older than I and it made me feel so special when he wanted to hang out with me J ). Now, she lived about 7 or 8 miles from us if we were driving, but if we took the railroad tracks that ran behind our house it was probably only 3 or 4 miles and we ended up in her front yard. Convenient! So, off we went. Now, I do not remember the ride to her place, or the visit at all. It was the ride home that got interesting.
 How I remember my brothers mini-bike:
 
How my brother remembers what it looked like:


 

   Now, this mini bike did not go very fast. Plus, it had 2 riders, and even though back then I was the size of a toothpick it still added weight to the bike. We came around a bend in the tracks and all of a sudden 30 (ok, maybe 6) wild dogs started to chase us! Of course, they were closer to me than to him as I was on the back. I was screaming at him to go faster, and he was screaming that he was going as fast as he could. I am sure there were plenty of F* bombs thrown in when he yelled that but I blocked them out. The dogs finally gave up their pursuit. I am sure they figured if they ripped me off of the bike they would have to put up with a skinny little girl screaming bloody murder and I wasn’t much worth it since there was no meat to be had. We proceeded home. And to the best of my knowledge that ended my rides on the tracks. It did not, however, end my brothers’ love of his mini bike. It did, however, cause him hearing loss in his right ear. Just kidding- but I bet his ears rang for a few days.

How I remember the wild dog pack:



How my brother remembers the wild dog pack:

 

  Several months later, he promised me that when he got home from mini bike riding that he would come push me on my swings. I heard him come in to the house, and I ran out back and waited. And waited. And yelled to him- where are you?? This went on for days. (Ok. Maybe just an hour or so). Finally, my parents checked on him. He had taken a huge fall on his mini bike and had snuck upstairs past my parents so they wouldn’t know. Well, the dork ended up in the hospital for several days. I remember when he came home I actually gave up watching Mr. Rogers and the Brady Bunch so he could watch Gilligan’s Island-I was such a good little sister. Not really – I was a brat and the baby which is a lethal combination. This was a big sacrifice for me- Joe Namath was on the Brady Bunch once and what if it was that episode and I missed it? I was going to marry Broadway Joe someday- we would have matching fur coats when we wed- and I would have an endless supply of pantyhose. I could not miss seeing my future husband on tv! Yes, I was a pervert even back then. But I digress-that trip to the hospital ended the mini bike era at our house. So sad-

How I remember my brother after his mini-bike accident:


How my brother remembers his mini-bike accident:

 

   Smell is another powerful transporter of time. My mother could grow anything. Too bad she still isn’t around- she could set me up growing pot out here in Colorado- our batches would be awesome and I would be rich! Anyway, she grew the most beautiful gardenias. I have always loved that smell. About 10 years ago I was walking through a nursery and wanted a plant for mother’s day. Lo and behold- there were gardenia plants! I leaned over, took one whiff and BAM- started bawling in the middle of the damn place! I took the plant home as there was snot all over it and proceeded to kill it within the week. Now when I need a gardenia smell fix I just go candle shopping. I can’t kill anything there. Well, I could, but they won’t let me carry a gun anymore.

How I remember Mom's garden:


How my brother remembers Mom's gardenia garden:

 

      Here is hoping that by writing some of these things down my own kids will have some sort of idea why I am the way I am. Poor kids-they don’t have a chance!
    Have a good week everyone

Thursday, May 8, 2014


                            The wheels on the car go round and round…..

I am fortunate enough to have a hubby that supports my addiction/hobby. Whenever we decide to go on a ride, he always asks if there are any quilt shops we need to hit. What a guy, I know. A lot of our rides end up heading towards Rocky Mountain National Park- and why not? Elk, deer, big horn sheep and even an occasional moose are there for the peeking!
On our way up to the park we sometimes go through Lyons, Colorado. That poor town was devastated by flooding last fall. The quilt shop made it out ok, but plenty of other businesses and homes did not. It is nice going through town now and seeing the re-building of the town and businesses. A few weeks ago we stopped at Lyons Quilting quilt shop. WOW! What a wonderful shop!




 
Their address is 260 E Main St., Lyons, Colorado.
First off, their door knob is an iron, which made me giggle on the way in. Somehow right away I found the clearance area- I have a nose for sales, you know. I found quite a bit of fabric that was marked at less than $7 a yard! I remembered I had a Halloween quilt made out of my favorite fabric- The Ghastlies- by Alexander Henry and it needed a back. Lo and behold- they had Ghastlies fabric on sale!!! WHOOO HOOO! They only had 4 yards left and that was not quite enough, so I bought some black fabric to help make the back big enough. No problem!


I ventured on into the next room and they had a ton of batiks- my eyes went bonkers! All the colors you can imagine! And on top of the batik racks they had packages of Quilter’s Dream batting in all sizes and lofts. It is one of my favorite battings to use and sometimes not easy to find.
I then wandered on into the other part of the store-fabrics were arranged very nicely by color.  A feast for the eyes! As I came around the corner, the last area of the store was filled up with juvenile prints- flannels and cottons. There was also a notion rack by the cutting table I had to look at. I always need to make sure there isn’t a notion or 6 that I don’t already have!

 

They also have a wonderful frequent buyer awards program. They keep track of all of your purchases and when you fill the card you get a percentage off of your purchase. The owner of the shop had purchased the inventory from another quilt shop in town that was closing, and she brought all of the buyer cards with her, which I thought was very sweet. A lot of new shop owners would not have honored the shoppers from the previous shop, but she did! It is the little things that make shops work.
There were lovely quilts on the wall, and they are having classes at the shop as well.
I encourage everyone who is traveling near Lyons to stop in and say hello! Tell them Courtenay sent you! You won’t be disappointed!


Travel on my friends!